"Tired of Trying to Measure Up," by Charles Toy, for The Christian Left

“I’m sick and tired of trying to measure up to your expectations!” That’s exactly what I said to God 21 years ago.

I continued, “You’re God! You have all the power! You’re perfect! You live in perfection! I live in this s--t-hole! You have no idea what it’s like! No idea at all what it’s like to be a human being!”

I was having a MAJOR pity party. Major.

A voice spoke to my soul.  I didn’t hear it with my ears.  I heard it loud and clear in my spirit.

“Yes I do know what it’s like to be a human being. I became one. I know exactly what it’s like.”

I could not have come up with that at that particular time and in the frame of mind I was in.

It was all I needed to hear. God had delivered the perfect message to me when I needed Him most. My spirit was calmed immediately.

The next week-end I went to a Baptist men’s retreat for the week-end.  Unbeknownst to me, there was an author speaking at the retreat, Jeff VanVonderen.  He had just written a book called, “Tired of Trying to Measure Up.” Imagine that.  The very words I had said to God days before. I bought the book at the retreat and read the entire thing.

I still get mad at God sometimes, but he’s patient with me that way. After having a handful of experiences like the one I just described, it’s pretty hard for me to doubt Him.

Does he do these kinds of things in your life? I bet he does. Sometimes we just have to be willing to listen to his "still small voice" inside.

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