"Tired of Trying to Measure Up," by Charles Toy, for The Christian Left
“I’m sick and tired of trying to measure up to your expectations!” That’s exactly what I said to God 21 years ago.
I continued, “You’re God! You have all the power! You’re perfect! You live in perfection! I live in this s--t-hole! You have no idea what it’s like! No idea at all what it’s like to be a human being!”
I was having a MAJOR pity party. Major.
A voice spoke to my soul. I didn’t hear it with my ears. I heard it loud and clear in my spirit.
“Yes I do know what it’s like to be a human being. I became one. I know exactly what it’s like.”
I could not have come up with that at that particular time and in the frame of mind I was in.
It was all I needed to hear. God had delivered the perfect message to me when I needed Him most. My spirit was calmed immediately.
The next week-end I went to a Baptist men’s retreat for the week-end. Unbeknownst to me, there was an author speaking at the retreat, Jeff VanVonderen. He had just written a book called, “Tired of Trying to Measure Up.” Imagine that. The very words I had said to God days before. I bought the book at the retreat and read the entire thing.
I still get mad at God sometimes, but he’s patient with me that way. After having a handful of experiences like the one I just described, it’s pretty hard for me to doubt Him.
Does he do these kinds of things in your life? I bet he does. Sometimes we just have to be willing to listen to his "still small voice" inside.